The Gift of Not Belonging, by Rami Kaminski

A psychiatrist explains why some people harbor a horror of the group

Dr Rami Kaminski is an American psychiatrist with decades of clinical experience. As a child Kaminski always felt at odds with school groups and teams. He was not a joiner. This did not mean he was lonely or solitary. He felt happy and fulfilled on his own. He could maintain solid  friendships on a one-on-one basis. But force him to join a sporting team or go on a school camp and he was beside himself with worry and stress. 

After years of treating similarly disposed people in his clinical practice, Kaminski has come up for a title for this condition: otrovert. Extroverts look outward, introverts inwards. An otrovert is someone who looks in a different direction to the crowd or group. (Otro means “other” in Spanish while “vert” means direction.) Extroverts and even introverts are communal people, meaning they find safety and belonging in the group. Otroverts find no such comfort. In fact, they find the opposite. 

What is the reason for this discomfort, even anxiety? Communal people don’t see individuals in the group. They see more of an homogenous single entity. For example, you could say they see the group as being the colour blue, and if the individual considers themself blue too, then they can easily fit into the group. Otroverts, on the other hand, don’t see sameness. They see everyone as an overwhelming separate entity. They can’t melt into the group, but must negotiate every person as an individual. It brings an uncomfortable intensity to all group interactions. 

The Gift of Not Belonging, by Rami Kaminski. Published by Scribe Publications. $32.99

NOV 25